My Truth. My Journey.

words of cashmere
float from my mouth, falling on deaf ears
while
my heart laced with betrayal, bathes in the memories

we're barely breathing

the struggle to deny your existence is futile
(foreboding) images branded on my flesh
in my mind
my
every
unfolding moment

i open doors to crippling silences
i wake from dreams with my insides upside down and raging

never close enough to sense any reason

i want those pieces back, to be whole again
but there is no refund on my love
no exchange on time well wasted
and extraordinarily poor choices

only the day-to-day
and the same old tactics


why are you so hard to forget,
when i'm impossible for you to remember.

i want to come out the other side.
to satisfy this appetite that craves only
love

and mild amnesia.

I used to believe in the strength behind those eyes, in his words that were spoken as softly and with as much love as my entire being could survive. In a myriad of ways, he was it for me, but nothing, nothing could exceed those love letters.
Those words were the only way he could be freed.
At the time, they were his only way to my heart.

Our love, boldly caught up in the tides of the Aegean, carried home on weathered wings, held sacred and stretching...

He bound me, unfamiliar, to a place I never thought I'd go.
And then shattered my heart with every inch of evil he could muster.
It appeared to be easy.
He was so efficient with his time and with his words, always - they sliced right through my core with such precision
but I often wonder if he gave much thought to what was leaving his mouth.

Does (did) he ever read those letters and believe in them?
Because I remember the night in the underground. I remember it all...

I'm there, mister.
I can finally smile

Because it happened.
And it was beautiful.

So this song's for you...